Gifted, My Ass

In our district, now is the time applications need to be submitted for our GATE program. Since ALL my parents think their children are gifted and talented, this means I have a giant stack of teacher recommendations to fill out before Friday.

Parents are able to submit their own recommendations for their child.  This means, once one parent proclaims their child will be testing for GATE, all the other moms in the parking lot join in on GATE-Fest 2012. No one wants to be left out.  You'd think that no news is better than bad news, but apparently everyone is so self-assured about their child's brilliance that the thought that they may not be in the top 5% of all the students in our district hasn't crossed their minds.

Now, let me just profile a couple of my wonderful little nose-pickers for you.  You can help me fill out my forms. (Believe me, I need the help!)

Number 18.  A darling pudge-ball... comes in every morning needing a reminder of our morning routine (unpack your backpack, make a lunch choice, finish your math minute, shop for a book for your book bag if time.) Every day, every step of the way, Number 18 needs to ask, "whatdoIdonow?" in a loud, shrieky sort of voice.

So, our form asks the following to be ranked somewhere between very rarely and very often:

Memory and Knowledge: Remembers, integrates, retains information or skills
Fast Learner: Grasps and performs sophisticated concepts and tasks quickly and easily


Even if unpacking your backpack were a sophisticated task, I can't say that Number 18 does this quickly or easily.  In fact, Number 18 still walks into last year's classroom instead of mine at least once a week.

Number 3.  My complainer.  He complains about every task, every lesson, every book, every challenge problem, group project, or craft. He has "nothing to write about" "can't draw" and "hates books." He also wears the same socks day in and out and has a habit of slipping off his Merrils and rubbing his feet on other kids during our read aloud.  Of course, his parents attribute his complaining to boredom, an obvious sign that he is far too gifted to be in a regular second grade.

So, on the form I have to explain how he rates in the following:

Motivation: Intense desire to know, create, do, feel or understand
Interests: Passionate interests, including unusual or short-lived interests

I've had gifted second graders before.  I had a boy who could name and identify every mushroom, and was part of our local mycological society. He was written about in the newspaper and was auditing an adult education course at our university!

I had a girl who wrote a science fiction "novel" over the course of the year during our daily free writing time, with phrases in it like, "These are the days of darkness, when the crystal sky aches for new stars, and our dying moon slips in and out of its phases with hunger pangs that can't be satisfied with even the heartiest of meals."  A second grader!

I had a second grade boy once who "played" with his brother's sixth grade algebra book at home, and did his brother's homework each night for "fun" in addition to our own.

Those children were gifted- well beyond gifted! They were brilliant.  I understand that there is a difference between being a genius and being gifted and talented... but just as far as that chasm is, so is the difference between being totally typical, or below average and qualifying for GATE.

I am interested to see what happens to my little Number 18 and Number 3.  I am interested to see those who are above and below those two.  Right now, though, after working on most of my stack of recommendations tonight, I am ready for a big huge vodka tonic! Drink the pain away!